MUSTARDY BRUSSELS SLAW

There have been no resolutions made in writing yet. I'm pretty used to things happening belated around here and hoping Hugh and I will get to our New Year accountability date sometime this month. There are ideas, thoughts and intentions brewing but I haven't found the time to make my categorized list. I did start the Sweat with Kayla fitness app that in a few days of sorry looking push ups, has moved "getting stronger" towards the top of my list. I've chatted with a few people about helping me put on plated dinners to raise money and awareness for a few charities I'd like to contribute more to. Potentially in our backyard which scares me but sometimes you just have to jump in. Hugh and I also agreed we'd let the posts here be more casual if they need to be - less photos, maybe me not writing much if I am not in the mood, could even just be an idea for a salad dressing. It doesn't always need to be such a thing. You may not even notice a difference but for me, us, it takes a bit of the pressure off of having to try too hard and just allowing this to be...easier.  I'll get that all down on paper by the end of the month.

Cleo turns one next week so it feels like a fresh start for all of us in some way. This past year has been largely consumed by learning how to function as a family of four with two self employed people working from home. The chasm between wanting to be present and engaged as a parent and focused and motivated to make your own living. All I know so far is that you can't do a good job, or stay happy, trying to be everything to everyone at all times so I'm looking forward to letting go of some expectations.

Onward, 2017.

MUSTARDY BRUSSELS SLAW // Serves 4

I use a careful hand and a mandoline in shaving the brussels sprouts because I feel like they get more feathery than a food processor or the prepackaged ones ever get. This could be an inefficient, high maintenance call. The alternative is totally fine, I would just let them sit in the dressing a little longer to soften up slightly as they'll be thicker. 
We can deconstruct this into a warm side dish if you're not feeling salad. You can half the brussels, toss them in the vinaigrette, and roast them at 400' in a large rimmed baking dish for about 35 minutes or until just browning on the edges. While still hot, stir in the shallots and apples and then top the dish with the walnuts and cheese. Shop once, cook twice.

// mustardy vinaigrette //
2 tsp. dijon mustard
2 tsp. whole grain mustard
2 tsp. agave nectar
1/3 cup apple cider vinegar
1/2 cup olive oil
1 tsp. sea salt
1 tsp. dried Italian herbs

1 lb. brussels, cores trimmed
1 small bunch of kale, stems removed
1 medium shallot, minced, about 2 Tbsp. 
1 crisp apple, cored and diced small
1/2-3/4 cup toasted walnuts pieces
1/3 cup grated pecorino or parmesan cheese, plus more to garnish

To make your vinaigrette, put all ingredients in a jar with a lid and shake to mix. Season to taste.
Using a mandoline or the grater blade on a food processor, shave your brussels thin and put them in a large mixing or salad bowl. Chop the kale well (should have about 2 cups) and add it to the brussels along with the shallot, apple and half of the walnuts and cheese. Toss with desired amount of dressing to coat and serve with remaining walnuts and cheese on top.

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SQUASH, GREENS + QUINOA FRITTERS

Here we go, friends. We're towards the end of the parties and big meals and peppermint chocolate goodies and traffic to and from the mall and whipping cream and exhausted looking delivery people. Curran and I are making sandwiches today to set out for them which is probably way overdue because we order a lot of things online. I thought of leaving these delicious fritters but there wasn't a single one left over and I already think the UPS guys isn't sure about us, who knows what judgements I'd be securing in offering him a cold, leftover fritter. Everyone loves a PB+J. 
I'm also doing some baking for neighbors and family from Anna Jones second book, A Modern Way to Cook. I'm going to try her salted almond butter chocolate bars and carrot cake granola bars that sound just perfect for gifting if I can get them past the hungry hands around here. Anna's recipes are wholesome, simple, and creative while the chapters are broken down into 20, 30, 40 minute sections so you can plan meals according to your lifestyle (which timing I suppose is relative to the cook but I think you'll get in the ballpark). She has the kindest way of writing and gives you a confidence that you should just trust yourself. I think that's what I love about English cooks, they don't usually fuss over measurements and I think that's refreshing. 
Anyway, off to your holiday loveliness but I'm going to leave this delicious little meal right here for you when you need it. It's been a wild year trying to find my feet after adding Cleo to our crew but this space still feels like me. It's tough for Hugh and I to get motivated to shoot a recipe or for me to come up with something to say but I feel like it's important to be here anyway. So thanks for following along and engaging with me here, I think it's pretty special. Wishing you and yours a warm and meaningful holiday with the people you love most. 

SQUASH, GREENS + QUINOA FRITTERS // Makes about 10
Recipe adapted from A Modern Way to Cook by Anna Jones

I tried to add a few notes to help below for those that need more specific measurements though I believe this recipe will be forgiving either way as long as there are enough eggs to bind it all. These are gluten free and very delicate so use a gentle hand and patience when flipping - you want to get the spatula completely under them before flipping. If you are short on time, using your favorite hummus or tzatziki would be a great substitute for the yogurt sauce though it just takes a moment. 

1 cup uncooked or 2 cups cooked quinoa
a 14oz piece of butternut squash (about half of an average sized one), peeled and grated on a large box hole grater or in your food processor with the grater blade
4 medium eggs
one small bunch of green onions
5 ounces fresh greens (kale, spinach or the like), chopped
2/3 cup rolled oats
3/4 tsp. ground cumin
1/4 tsp. cayenne
sea salt and fresh ground pepper
7 ounces feta cheese (nearly a cup), crumbled
1 unwaxed lemon
handful of chopped parsley and cilantro
olive or grapeseed oil, for cooking

// yogurt sauce //
1 cup plain, full fat, greek yogurt
sea salt
1 tsp. sumac or dried chile
* I added in a grated garlic clove and some chopped cilantro and parsley here

// to serve //
english cucumber, sliced super thin
baby tomatoes
soft salad greens
olives

If you are cooking the quinoa, rinse it well, then add it to a pot with 1 3/4 cup water. Bring it to a gentle boil, turn it down to a simmer and cover and cook for 12 minutes until most of the water has been absorbed. In the last few minutes, add the shredded squash on top and let it steam on top to soften but not get mushy. This takes about 5 minutes. Stir it around to fluff and leave the cover ajar for it to cool (This is a great step to do the night before. It cools overnight and makes for quick work of the recipe the following day).

Beat the eggs in a large mixing bowl. Add the green onions, greens, oats, cumin, cayenne and a few generous pinches of salt and pepper. Stir to mix. Add the feta, zest of the lemon, the herbs and the cooled quinoa/squash mixture. Mix everything together and set to chill in the fridge while you "get on with another couple jobs" (Anna's line. I love it :). 

For the sauce, stir together the yogurt, juice of half the lemon, pinch of salt and sumac. Add some finely chopped cilantro and parsley, if you wish. Gather, slice and chop your cucumber, tomato and olives, if using. Toss them in oil and lemon juice if you wish.

In a large pan over medium heat, warm a thin layer of olive or grapeseed oil. Remove the quinoa mixture and gently form patties about 3/4" thick and fry them in the oil, about 5 minutes per side until golden brown (I did an extra minute, covered, at the end just to make sure the centers were set).

FOR MY GIRL

Sissy girl,

Years ago, I posted a letter to your brother here, as this place is my memory book of sorts. It was just a few weeks before he came and I had no idea what I, as a mother, would think and feel and love and be challenged by. I keep journals for you both but don't write in them nearly as often as I had hoped and when I do, I feel at a loss for words.

Do I make note of the things you do?

That when you smile on purpose, your gorgeous blue eyes squint shut. That the only word we can coax out of you is "uh oh!" and you exclusively scream and squawk with a glass-breaking pitch when you "talk" to your brother, and come to think of it, he is pretty loud himself so perhaps you perceive that as his language. That when Dad or I can stroke your bare belly you literally freeze and completely zone out, you don't even blink or breathe you are soaking it in so hard. Like a loyal Labrador. That you love berries and take your eggs scrambled, absolutely never hard boiled, will inhale roasted butternut squash but not touch a delicata, and have a strange discernment for water being in your cup too long. It must be fresh. You are not even one yet and you have so many opinions, oi. You are unbelievably cuddly, maybe even more so than your Dad and that's really saying something. You two together just melt me. 

Or is the journal a place for my feelings and emotions - something you may flip back to when you are a young mother yourself? There won't be enough people telling you that it's hard and that that is alright because hard things are also good. That you'll start to look tired, quicker, because you are, but how rich in love you feel sometimes couldn't make you care less. But then other times that exhaustion will make you wish bedtime would just come sooner so you could sit and not be needed. Being a mom is the hardest best thing. I hope you get to experience it - if you want to, of course. 

Surely I'm supposed to make note of your milestones but they start to blend into our everyday life. I can't remember when those teeth came through, but I have scars on my nipple from when you decided to test out their function while breastfeeding like I was a piece of jerky. You're lucky I allowed you back, missy. 

Your brother may have made us parents, but you came and made us feel like a family. You have the lightest spirit of the four of us. I mean, you're 11 months old so hopefully you don't have a lot weighing on your heart but I can just tell. We're born with those sorts of constitutions. Curran is a thinker. He figures things out, needs to be engaged, is a bit of a perfectionist and runs on the moodier/emotional side but you, you are generally just a happy little girl. A complete mess, clingy, you can rage when you want to, but you are so full of joy. I took you to Costco last weekend and you just stood in the cart on top of the apple squeezers box, hanging onto the side and lit up for anyone who would look at you in your adorable romper and big white headband. I want to be as happy as you! People tell me how beautiful you are but it is nothing compared to what I can tell is inside you, my girl.

I made these muffins because I saw how you couldn't palm one into your face fast enough at the coffee shop last weekend. I will disappoint you and make mistakes and yell when I wish I wouldn't but feeding my family, that act of service, is something I hope you see as an extension of my affection for you guys. I already have the cutest little kids apron on standby for when you're ready to mix and stir with me, my girl. I am, we all are, crazy about you. 

WHOLE WHEAT BANANA-CHOCOLATE MUFFINS // Makes 18 muffins
Adapted from The Vanilla Bean Baking Book by Sarah Kieffer

Sarah's book is remarkably tested and full of classic and delicious baking recipes. I wouldn't qualify it in the health sphere per se but her brownies and muffins are perfect and I can't wait to try more when I am looking for classic baked goods. I made a few tweaks here due to only having exactly one cup of whole wheat flour on hand, so I substituted oat flour. Mine look a little flat because of this. C'est la vie. I also added cinnamon because I couldn't help myself but I made the notes to offer you her original in the recipe. Sarah suggests toasted pecans if you like crunch and says that these muffins freeze well if 18 muffins is a lot for you. Sidenote: I've damaged by old muffin tins but have been loving these (pictured) if you're in need of new ones. 

2 1/2 cups whole wheat flour
1 tsp. baking powder
1 tsp. baking soda
1/2 tsp. sea salt
1 tsp. cinnamon (my addition, optional)
3/4 cup olive oil
1 cup buttermilk (or 1 cup coconut milk with 1 Tbsp. fresh lemon juice)
1 cup mashed ripe banana (about 3 small)
1 large egg
2 tsp. vanilla extract
1/2 cup maple syrup
1/4 cup natural cane sugar
1 diced banana
1 cup chocolate chips
turbinado sugar, for sprinkling

Adjust an oven rack to the lower middle position. Preheat the oven to 375'. Place liners or grease your muffin tins. 
Whisk the flour, baking powder, baking soda, salt, and cinnamon in a large bowl. Make a well in the center.
In a large bowl or liquid measuring cup, whisk the oil, buttermilk, mashed banana, egg, vanilla, maple and sugar until completely combined. Pour the wet ingredients into the well in the dry and stir until almost combined. Fold in the diced banana and chocolate until just incorporated, being careful not to overmix (there will be lumps and the batter will be thin). 
Scoop the batter into the prepared tins, filling the cups about 2/3 full. Sprinkle with turbinado sugar. Bake 15-18 minutes until the edges are golden and a toothpick inserted in the center comes out clean.